It seems crazy that my excision was 6 weeks ago. Some days, it feels like it was just yesterday; and other days it seems so long ago. This morning, I had a meeting earlier than I usually get into work. I went to bed earlier than usual last night and got up an hour earlier than usual. I actually felt pretty good – well rested, not achy or sore.
I felt so good that I even decided to start up doing the squats that I had been in the habit of doing before I got in the shower. I know, weak exercise routine…but right before the whole cancer thing, I had been noticing a slight lifting in my posterior when I had been in the habit of doing a couple sets of squats throughout the day (and walking a lot more). Plus, I liked that I could tell I was getting stronger by doing them. Being out of commission with the excision, I thought it was time to get strength back into my legs.
I did 30 full-on, thighs parallel to the floor, butt way back like I was sitting in a tiny chair, squats. Sure, there was a few that I was a bit wobbly on, and I had to splay my feet out a little wider than normal – but I think any crossfit trainer would have been happy with my form. I got in the shower mentally patting myself on the back…
But then, somehow through my semi-awake haze, I lost some time. I suddenly realized as I was scrolling aimlessly through Facebook that I had precisely 19 minutes to get dressed in something other than my robe, slap makeup on, and walk the seven blocks to work to make it on time for the meeting. Prior to the excision, I was going to be late – let alone now that I’m walking slower. I still haven’t regained my city speed walking pace.
I hauled ass as fast as I could trying to get dressed and out the door. With only nine minutes left to spare, I walked out my front door. Even on my best days, I usually needed about 11 minutes to make the walk to work. I scurried, I did! And I got into the elevator at my office building at 9:33. I was mentally congratulating myself on making it there in 14 minutes – a new record for my post-excision speed.
And then, I could feel my scar pulsating as I stood in our stand-up. That was followed by sharp bursts of pain that haven’t let up an hour later. It feels like I ripped internal stitches or something. I don’t think those squats this morning, followed by the briskest walk in 6 weeks, was a bright idea.
I have a feeling that today, the excision is going to feel like it was just yesterday…