Another Skin Check Coming Up

So, I’ve got another skin check coming up. This one will mark the two and a half years since my excision. For whatever reason, I’m actually worried about this one.

On one hand, a “nothing to worry about” result will give me more peace of mind, I think. I’m halfway through to the five-year mark and that’s a pretty big milestone. On the other hand, I’ve got a concern that I won’t have a clean visit. I have no idea why. I’m not stressing about any random marks on my skin. And I don’t know whether that’s because there really is nothing to worry about or hubris. I wrote right after the excision while I was waiting for the results about straddling the line between paranoia and hope; and I’m feeling the same way right now.

But I guess it’s the thought that I’m almost halfway to the “all-clear” mark. At this point, I’m worried that I’m going to get close to thinking that this thing is beat, only to have something rear its ugly head. (And I think it would really suck to be at four and a half years and get the diagnosis again.) But on the other hand, even after five years – I will still have an increased risk and will still need to be vigilant. So, it’s kinda pointless for me to be stressing, right? So my brain needs to get on board with this zen thing…