As mentioned in a previous post, I’m taking my mom on a trip to Alaska. In fact, she’s on her way to Austin as I type this. After looking at my work calendar (but mostly based on the flight connections and prices to fly from Ohio), I decided to have her fly here to start the trek.
I’m excited but also nervous, which is totally weird for me because usually I’m so excited about a trip that I don’t register much, if any, nervousness. I am a strange hybrid of meticulous planning and research before embarking; but then once I’m on the ground somewhere, I can be really spontaneous because I’m so prepared. As I noted before, I’ve never been on a cruise ship though. So that’s introducing an entirely new mode of transport into my repertoire. I’ve been ambivalent about cruising. First off, I’m an introvert so the idea of being stuck with a couple thousand people in a small space sounds like a forgotten circle of Dante’s Inferno. And although there are many people who rave about the food on cruises, I’m over here thinking that mass producing mass quantities of food doesn’t sound like a recipe for freshly-made deliciousness. And the most obvious reason why cruising never appealed to me was the fact that you’re pretty locked into an itinerary and for someone who likes to be super footloose during travels, that concept was anathema to me.
But Alaska is such a vast region and the only other way to see the panhandle of the state is the ferry system. That was actually the way I planned to see my fiftieth state but after sitting down with the ferry schedule, I realized that I was going to need about two full weeks just to see the panhandle, let alone the interior. So, a cruise was the most obvious option for me to see that area while I am still a working stiff in American society.
Ok, so I’m sorta (not really) over my distaste for the idea of a cruise. But as this date has rapidly approached, I have turned my attention to a fact that I was actively ignoring – I am going to be in small shared space with my mother! Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She’s generally a very happy and generous person. With my dad’s death, her bright outlook has dimmed a bit. But also as she’s gotten older, she’s gotten way more paranoid. And unlike her gypsy daughter, my mom really never has traveled much. Oh sure, she and my dad went to Florida a few times and they had one adventure to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon that I was astonished they undertook (but my dad was really impressed with the photos I took and wanted to see it for himself). My dad was really the driving force behind those excursions because he was the internet-savvy one. I spent a full 20 minutes yesterday walking my mom through the process of printing an attachment from her email. The fact that I work for a company that is on the bleeding edge of high-technology and I came from a woman that gets so flustered just logging into a computer is mildly hilarious except that I’m also super frustrated repeatedly teaching her how to do things that three year olds can do without any supervision.
So her tech naivety and her inexperience with traveling would be a bad enough combination but then sprinkle in her paranoia about pretty much everything and it has caused some ridiculous conversations. No mom, you don’t need to buy a knife-proof backpack for the cruise. No mom, you don’t need to buy a personal security alarm for walking around Ketchikan. No mom, don’t buy bear spray now and try to take that through TSA. Yes mom, you do need to worry about how heavy your suitcase is because not only do you need to lug it around but the airlines will charge you if it’s over a certain weight. Yes mom, you do need to take your shoes off at TSA checkpoints because you’re not PreCheck or 75 years old but it’s highly unlikely that someone is going to steal your shoes in the 45 seconds that they leave your feet and when they pop out on the other side of the conveyor belt. Yes mom, I promise to stop for gas every time I see a damn gas station in Alaska because I know you heard from someone who stayed out in the wilderness how hard it was to find an open gas station, despite the fact that we’re basically going to be on the tourist trail the entire time we’re in the interior.
My lack of patience is pretty well known in these parts. So struggling to control the exasperation in my voice for two weeks may cause some tension. And I know that she’s not asking these questions or being paranoid just to drive me crazy (although I think it may be part of the fun for her). I want her to have a great experience. I spent a lot of time researching things and spent extra money to ensure that she would be comfortable (because if it were just me, I would be staying in a hostel and riding the ferries). It’s really a once-in-a-lifetime thing for her and I want her to relish it and not spend every minute worrying about something I’ve thought about and taken care of. I don’t want her worrying about something that is so remote that it’s basically a non-issue.
This is a time for us to bond and for her to hopefully experience some joy, joy that has been in short supply since my dad died. I just hope we’re both ready for it…