Mom and Me Adventure – Sailing Away

After spending a few days showing my mom around Vancouver, it was time to board our cruise ship. I booked us to stay at the Fairmont Waterfront, located right across the street from the cruise ship terminal, in order to make the transfer as easy as possible. So we repacked, grabbed our suitcases and literally walked across the street and took an elevator down to the cruise ship level of Canada Place.

I had never taken a cruise prior to this so I had no idea what the check-in process would be like. Turns out that in Vancouver, it’s basically idiot-proof – even with three different ships loading that day. First, to drop off your luggage, you identify which cruise line and ship you’re on, go to that section, put on the luggage tags sent to you as part of your check-in paperwork, and hand your bag over. Then you are herded upstairs to check-in to stand in line to get your key card. Key card in hand, you have to clear security and then U.S. Customs and Immigration. The Immigration line provided some hilarity. We had a crabby older guy next to us who whined incessantly about why he had to wait in this long line. He repeatedly bitched “this socialist bureaucracy is a travesty, I’m an American citizen. Canada should show some respect.” Finally, I couldn’t help myself. I turned to him and sweetly said, “Sir, everyone in this line is a citizen of the United States. We are all waiting in line to clear U.S. Immigration. Canada has nothing to do with this process. So if you would like to complain about socialist bureaucracy, you should start with your elected representative in Washington D.C. because our federal government there is the one in charge of this process.” He stared at me for a second while I smiled at him. He was silent for the rest of the 30 minutes he was in line. His wife gave me a wordless thank you and I got a thumbs up from the dude in front of him. My mom pretended that she didn’t know me and chatted up the people behind her.

After the lengthy process to clear immigration, we got hit up by the ship’s photographers for the first of many photo ops. We didn’t even bother going to check out the photos because we knew darn well that no amount of air brushing was going to make our sweaty, bedraggled asses look good. Finally, finally we were welcomed by some crew at the gangway and we stepped foot on the ship.

We sailed on Holland America’s Westerdam. I selected that particular ship for a few reasons. The first is the fact that I had my mom with me. My mother is not the type to party all night, or ride a zipline or enjoy fine wine. So the cruise lines that offer either an active type of cruise or those lines that offer more of a higher-end luxury experience would have been lost on my mom. And while she does walk, she has arthritis in her knees. So I wanted a smaller ship that would likely have more older folks so she wouldn’t get jostled by a bunch of kids running around. That’s another reason why I picked the Westerdam. It’s one of the smallest ships; it’s more of a floating village than a city – making it easier for my mom to walk around. And Holland America is known for an older clientele. I figured the food choices would be more suitable for my mom’s palate. As she’s gotten older, she has gotten incredibly fussy about food. Nothing can have any seasoning and she can find something wrong with anything she eats anymore.

The Westerdam looks great from the outside, like a classic ocean liner. The inside must have been decorated by the same acid-tripping designers that got a hold of Las Vegas casinos in the 1980s. Although some of the ship’s public areas had been refurbished to look more in line with 2010 aesthetics, other areas (including the weird benches with the figureheads on every floor by the main elevators) looked like relics from another color-blind era. I had seen images online but it’s only when you are there in person that you can really appreciate how sensory-overloading those carpets are.

Fortunately, our cabin was much more soothing. I selected a Signature Suite for our cruise. I figured that a balcony was a “must-have” for this itinerary. Being able to get away from the crowds and sit in peace to watch the amazing scenery was well worth the upgrade cost to me. After debating the location for a balcony room, I opted to spring for the suite so I could get what I hoped would be a perfect location: on a deck nowhere near the pool, restaurants, main stage, or bars. Additionally, my mom was super worried that she was going to be seasick, so I wanted as close to the middle of the ship as possible. When I started adding up the upgrade costs to a balcony room for the best deck possible, I realized that it would actually be pretty close to the same price as a Signature Suite which came with a balcony anyway. And we would get a slightly larger cabin and balcony to boot.

Our cabin was on Deck Six, high enough up where we didn’t have any obstructed views from our balcony. Despite my fears of it being tiny, it was actually a good size. Immediately when you entered, there was a door to the left for the bathroom and three closets along the right. The closets had shelves that could be raised to accommodate folded clothes or lowered to allow for hanging items. Further into the room was the king-sized bed (which was supposed to be separated into two beds but once we got into the room, mom and I decided to just leave it) with nightstands and a small desk area, a couch with a coffee table, and another desk area that we turned into our vanity area because it had a mirror and an outlet to plug in a hair dryer (the bath did not have any outlets except a shaver outlet). The color scheme was very beige with an accent of dark grey. While it wasn’t quite my style, I did find the room to be soothing, if not a bit bland. The bathroom was way larger than I was expecting, with dual sinks, a tub/shower and a separate stand-up shower (and of course a toilet too). There were large containers of Elemis shampoo, conditioner, and shower gel mounted on the walls of the showers. The counters were imitation marble white with grey streaks but the bathtub was 1980s yellow-beige and I don’t even know how to explain the chevron-patterned wall tiles except as, ummm, an interesting and bold choice. Regardless, the bed was comfy and the couch was a good spot other than the bed to hang out on.

The balcony was spacious and held two chairs, each with an ottoman, as well as a small table. We had cushions; but even without them, the outdoor furniture was comfortable. I spent a lot of time out there, gazing at the scenery and taking photos. It was a nice retreat; that is, when the crazy loud people next to us weren’t out there talking at the top of their lungs. Seriously, why do you need to yell at someone sitting two feet from you? Why do you need to disturb the chance at hearing your own thoughts and the sounds of nature with inane conversation? They weren’t out there all the time, thank goodness; but when they were, I was muttering “Shut the f*ck up” over and over under my breath.

The Westerdam has a main dining room at the back of the ship on decks 2 and 3 as well as the buffet on the top deck. There are a couple of specialty restaurants, the Pinnacle Grill which was open to non-Pinnacle Suite level guests for a fee – if you could get a reservation; an Italian restaurant that was carved out of the main buffet area; and the pool grill that served hamburgers and hot dogs. There is also the main stage, the spa, a couple of bars, and the space that was America’s Test Kitchen during the day and BB King’s Blues Club at night. Although my cruise ship experience is extremely limited, I did like the intimate size of the Westerdam. I never felt like my mom was going to get lost. There weren’t so many options for things to do that it wasn’t overwhelming. And I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything because I couldn’t get to it all.

We boarded the ship around 1:30pm and were able to get into our cabin right away. Even more surprising was the fact that our luggage was delivered to our door pretty much as soon as we got into our cabin. We were able to unpack and settle in quickly. We then wandered upstairs to the buffet to grab a late lunch and check out the view of Vancouver from the top deck. We decided to stay up on the outdoor deck on the top of the ship to do the whole Love Boat departure thing, waving at people on land. Almost imperceptibly at 4:30pm, the ship slipped away from the pier and made its silent way past the city and underneath the Lions Gate Suspension Bridge, heading westward towards Burrard Inlet and then the Straight of Georgia. Behind the city skyline, the massive snowcapped peak of Mount Baker loomed. It was a gorgeous way to kick off the cruise.