We are currently hosting our very first overnight visitor to the downtown condo, my husband’s 21-year-old cousin. She’s been very agreeable to have around, although the cat is still not quite sure what to make of her yet. Kaylee leaves on Thursday, which is when the cat will probably decide to warm up to her.
We took her out the first night she was here to a section of town called Rainey – a street of old bungalow houses that have been mostly converted to bars and/or restaurants. It’s pretty popular with both the college-aged as well as old fogies like me. I wore some chunky, low-heeled boots, boots I’ve worn previous to the excision with no issues. We walked the quarter-mile to Rainey and then spend some time walking up and down the street. Well, yesterday my scar decided to remind me that it was still there.
It was the first time that I wore those boots since I acquired the scar; but it wasn’t the first time that I wore something with height in the heel. I’m surprised that even two days later, my scar is – well, not exactly hurting but making its presence known.
Yesterday, in the drizzle, we decided to go hit the hot tub. I’m not sure if she saw my scar or the two bullet holes I acquired last week, but it’s not like that scar is easy to miss. She didn’t mention them and for whatever reason, yesterday I was not in the mood to talk about anything health-related. I don’t know if I’m just stressed about waiting for the results of the two spots to come back or if I just was not in the right frame of mind or if I didn’t want to seem like I was lecturing or what. All I know is that it just didn’t feel right to bring it up. And I don’t know why.
I did finally have the band-aids fall off my two bullet holes so I got a chance to look at them. Of course, my only reference was my pink melanoma spot when it was shaved off so I have no idea if what I’m looking at is just normal skin that’s red from trying to heal or if it’s the backside of more melanoma. I know I’m driving myself crazy by trying not to think about these. I am telling myself that we were just being cautious about removing two things that are likely harmless. But I’m still worried and I guess I will be until the call comes in this week saying everything is fine.
It has to be fine, because Kaylee is still here until Thursday. I certainly don’t want to take another call from the dermatologist talking about the M word when she’s here. I can’t even imagine having her overhear my side of the conversation – another round of excisions, scheduling, in addition to the questions I would have about the ramifications of finding it in a completely different leg than the previous one. It would be very hard to hide that discussion – our condo isn’t that big. And even if we didn’t tell her about it so as not to ruin her Spring Break, the tension in the place would probably be noticeable. So, everything has to be fine… If not for my sake, then for the family in the house right now…