I still cannot believe Tom Petty died… The title of the post is a small tribute to him as well as accurately describing my feelings right now…
So, I’ve delayed on writing a follow-up post from my doctor’s visit last week. But with each day that passes, I realized that this blog is my therapy and if I wrote about the situation, I might feel a little less anxious. Who knows, maybe someone waiting for that phone call will feel a little less alone too…
I think I told y’all that I had some weird spot on my leg that popped up out of nowhere about a month ago. I went to the doctor right before my London trip and she examined it pretty closely since I am her problem child. At the time, she thought it might be some weird psoriasis patch or a rash of some kind since it was sorta bumpy and reddish. She gave me a super strong steroid creme to put on it twice a day in an effort to see if it would clear up in a few weeks. Well, as you may have guessed even without reading ahead that it didn’t.
So, after I got home from London, I had my follow-up with her. I actually was cautiously optimistic that it seemed a little less bumpy, perhaps a smidge smaller, and maybe it was just taking awhile for the creme to work. Well, as soon as she walked in and looked at it, she was like – damn, it’s gotten even bigger. I wasn’t quite expecting that response (human mind and ability to delude oneself and all). So naturally, she ended up giving me another bullet hole to find out what exactly is going on.
So, since then, I’m waiting for the call with the biopsy results. I stare at my phone, willing it to ring during business hours, hoping that it’s the assistant – hoping that it’s not the doctor on the other end because I know that call is bad news. I have been looking at my leg, my bullet hole, the “thing” that the bullet hole was taken from. Is it going away? Is it getting bigger? Is it redder? Is it fading? Is that a lump underneath? What does that mean? Is it infected and that’s why it hurts and is all red? Am I driving myself crazy? Am I facing another round with skin cancer?